Scripts
Latest projects:
A FAIRYTALE OF BAR HILL: (An hour-ish long festive comedy. Likeable loser Alex has lost everything; his girlfriend, his job, his treasured cat, Felix. Even his best friend, Buddy, is having a rough time of it, having been visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, and Santa Claus – well, he just doesn’t want to know anymore. Worst of all, the council have made him live in a horrid Cambridgeshire suburb known as Bar Hill. His sorrowful world is set to take a turn for the better, however, when the love of his life, the lovely, lovely Laura returns from her fling in Denmark, and straight into his arms. Surely now, after all these years, Alex is going to have a very merry Christmas? If only things were that simple....) *to be performed in the cellar of CB2, Cambridge on 17th, 19th and 20th of December 2009. Tickets £6, starts 8pm.
SWEDEN: (25 minute one-act play for stage. A man-eating crazed gunman is on the loose, searching for his sex-crazed wife who can't keep her big mouth shut when chatting to the tabloids. Sooner or later saxophonist Henry is roped in and is offered the opportunity of a lifetime, although all he wants to do is move to Sweden to start a new life, but Anne's penchant for shooting things soon gets in the way of that...who would have thought a Saturday night in Bedfordshire could be so exciting? A dark comedy, with lashings of jazz.)
SUGAR SUGAR: (25 minute one-act play for stage. Talentless actor Kenny's life is thrown upside-down when hard-nosed businessman Tony and his 'pretty and arty' wife-to-be Kelly come to fill up their car at his 24 hour petrol station. Her collapse soon makes Kenny fearful that they've somehow ended up in 'The Bastard', a play he's set to audition for. But surely life isn't so cruel to suggest the only time he is alone with a girl it's purely fiction? Either way, sweets make everything better...) * Performed as part of WriteOn's Naked Stage season @ Larkum Studio, ADC Theatre, Cambridge, October 2009.
NEW ADVENTURES IN SAT NAV (one-hour script for the screen. Short on money and with his long-term girlfriend's birthday edging nearer, failing office worker Tim has the ultimate idea - to make a postcode out of her favourite things, take her to wherever the Sat Nav directs them, and hope for the best...)
I'LL DRIVE TONIGHT, DARLING (written with Alan Morgan. A series of sketches by Alan and Paul, often focussing on the man's need to impress his female counterpart, alongside other surreal dips into the modern world) * Performed as part of the Cambridge Comedy Festival @ The Boathouse, Cambridge, June 2009.
MEGA VALUE MICKEY: (10-minute duologue. Mickey has just moved out of the family home for the first time, but with huge financial restraints of this financially struggling times he's forced to live off 'mega value' supermarket products. Can a man survive on mega value goods? Frankly, he's loving it, but his girlfriend has doubts, especially with that burning smell...) * Performed as part of WriteOn's MAD season @ Larkum Studio, ADC Theatre, Cambridge, June 2009.
WITH ARMS OUTSTRETCHED: (one act play. It's Valentines Day - the most dreaded time of the year for many a man. Questions need to be answered...will Vince ever tell the truth... will Laura leave her loverboy in Denmark and rescue Alex...will Patrick cut the obsession with Rilo Kiley vocalist Jenny Lewis before it destroys his own relationship? A lively, narrated comedy about love, hope and stroppy waiters) * Performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival - August 2009 (7 performances): PBH @ The Grape, Edinburgh. Also performed at The Hen & Chickens Theatre, London (2 performances) - September 2009, CB2, Cambridge (2 performances) - August 2009, and The Gardiner Memorial Hall, Burwell - August 2009. An extract of this play, called 'The Promise' was performed at WriteOn's show 'Table Talk', Cambridge 2009.
Previous projects (recent):
BREAKERS: (2009) (one-act play, world records) *Performed at the Brighton Fringe Festival - May 09 (2 performances) - The Ambassador Hotel, Brighton. Also performed at CB2, Cambridge, May 2009.
DROP ME WITH DIGNITY: (2009) (one-act comedy play, redundancy) *Performed at the Brighton Fringe Festival - May 09 (2 performances) - The Ambassador Hotel, Brighton. Also performed at CB2, Cambridge, May 2009. "Incredibly entertaining" - Broadway Baby magazine review of the Brighton performance.
AWKWARD AGE: (2009) (sitcom pilot, social networks)
REMEMBRANCE: (2009) (short film script, death)
GOLDILOCKS AND THE BEANSTALK: (2008) (alternative Christmas panto for stage) *Performed at The Glass Onion, Peterborough, December 2008. *An updated version of this script is to be performed in the cellar of CB2, Cambridge on 17th, 19th and 20th of December 2009. Tickets £6, starts 8pm.
ON THE 12TH DAY OF ALEX: (2008) (christmas stage play, a comedy also featuring stand-up and live music, romance/santa) *Performed at B-Bar, Cambridge as part of WriteOn's Naked Stage season, December 2008, and also at CB2, Cambridge (December 2008 - 2 performances) and The Glass Onion, Peterborough (December 2008).
GONE MIDNIGHT: (2008) (stage-play, domestic safety) *Performed at B-Bar, Cambridge, as part of WriteOn's Naked Stage season, October 2008. To be recorded by Violet Microwave Theatre as part of their new 'Voices Off' season for radio - Jan 2010, London (further details tbc)
CHIRPY: (2008) (short comedy for the stage, animals) *Performed at B-Bar, Cambridge, as part of WriteOn's Naked Stage season, October 2008.
LOOK AT ME, I'M FUNNY: (2008) (3 minute stage comedy, advertising) *Performed at The Hotbed Festival @ The Junction,
AMATEUR HOUR: (2008) (television/film comedy, band competition)
THE KNOWLEDGE OF BEAUTY: (2007) (comedy, stage-play, looks) *Performed at CB2,
THE HEALTHY OPTION: (2007) (25 minute comedy, strangers) * Performed at
LOOK AT WHAT YOU COULD HAVE WON: (2007) (full-length stage-play, dark comedy - love)
LETTERS TO SPARKLE: (2007) (duologue - comedy-drama - penpals, terrorism) *Performed at CB2,
AN AMBULANCE STUCK IN TRAFFIC: (2007) (duologue, comedy - ambulance) * Performed at the Strawberry Fair Festival,
THE MURDER OF THE RAZZLE DAZZLE ROSE QUEEN: (2007) (stage-play whodunit in three acts) *Performed at Hilton Village Hall, Cambridgeshire, March 2007.
LOCAL BAND HEROES: (2007) (television comedy-drama)
TEMPTATION HOUSE: (2007) (television comedy-drama)
HILLS ROAD - EPISODE 2: (2007) (episode 2 of 10-part radio soap opera) * a heavily edited version of this script was recorded for 209radio and broadcast/repeated on the station during 2007.
LOVESHOW: (2007) (short stage-play, comedy, relationships, deception) * this play was the subject of a 'Script Surgery' by OTC Theatre,
FRANK'S AIM IS TRUE: (2007) (full-length stage-play, comedy - musical obsession) *Performed at the
A SPLENDID CHRISTMAS SHOW: (2006) (Alternative Christmas sketch show, written with Irsan Ismail) * performed for 2 nights @ CB2 Restaurant,
MR. CHRISTMAS: (2006): (jolly festive comedy, Santa's popularity)
BED: (2006) (full-length stage-play, comedy - one night stands) *workshopped by WriteOn @ CB2,
FAMILY BUSINESS: (2006): (short stage-play, alternative comedy, office gangsters)
FOR THE LOVE OF FAKE DIAMONDS (2006): (short stage-play, comedy-drama, internet relationships) * performed by WriteOn as part of their Naked Stage season @ CB2,
LOVE, AWKWARDLY: (2006): (short monologue, trust) * performed by WriteOn as part of their MAD season @ B-Bar,
CRACKERJOKE WRITER (2006): (stage-play slapstick comedy, failed comedians) * performed by WriteOn as part of their Naked Stage season @ CB2,
NUMBER 12 AND HER AMAZING SHEEP REVOLUTION (2006): (short monologue, sheep) * performed at CB2 Restaurant,
THE ARTIST (2006): (short monologue, writing/failure) * performed at CB2 Restaurant,
COMING BACK FOR MORE (2006): (short monologue, musicians/failure) * performed at CB2 Restaurant,
BURNING DEMONS (2006): (10 minute radio drama, school arson)
BANDLIFE (2006): (sitcom, pop dreams)
BRADLEY: KING OF THE WAREHOUSE (2006): (sitcom, warehouse)
ST. MANCHESTER (2006): (dark comedy, gangsters)
GROWING UP WITH MARTIN (2005): (stage-play comedy, peer pressure) * workshopped by WriteOn! in
WEST OF HAPPINESS (2005): (screenplay/one-off comedy-drama, love and depression)
THE DECISION (2005): (short comedy drama stage-play, corridor) * the first half of this was performed as part of the 'Flip The Script' programme at The Contact Theatre,
TRYING TO LIKE JOANNE (2005): (first two chapters of comedy novel, office/murder)
BREAKERS: (2005) (five minute comedy, world records)
PRIORITIES: (2005) (short drama stage-play, showtime) * performed at the Junction Shed Theatre,
TONIGHT IT SHOWS (2005): (stage play, romance)
DEADLINE 24TH DECEMBER (2005): (one-off comedy, santa)
Earlier Scripts:
SELLING THRILLS (2004): (sitcom, popularity)
GLOSSY ON THE OUTSIDE (2004): (comedy short, bus-stop)
A ROOM FOR THE NIGHT (2004): (black comedy, hostel)
THE UNIMPORTANCE OF BEING MARVIN (2004): (sitcom, script rejection)
WAITING FOR THE BALL (2004): (lyrical/script/novel, reunion)
THE CIRCLE (2003): (black comedy, life)
THE CORRIDORS OF POWER (2003): (sitcom, civil service)
LITTLE TRIGGERS (2003): (sitcom, supermarket warehouse)
STOP THE CAVALRY (2002): (christmas short, santa's drugs)
HEAVEN (2002): (fantasy comedy-drama, deception)
HOLES (2002): (stage play drama, relationships)
COLD TURKEY (2001) (black comedy - one off, revenge over dinner)
THE CHEAP SEATS (2001) (dark comedy, degrading situations)
THE NOVELTY OF RYAN (2001) (one off comedy, idols)
THE PEN PUSHERS (2001): (sitcom, civil service)
GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH (2000): (sitcom, heaven)
GRAHAMS LAST NIGHT IN TOWN (2000) (black comedy - one off, revenge)
THE BAND WORE BLUE SHIRTS (2000): (sitcom, music)
PINEAPPLES (2000): (novel, fruit marriage)
BOXING (2000): (drama, amateur boxing)
CHELSEA (1999): (sitcom, mobsters)
CLOWNS (1999): (sitcom, clowns)
BANK HOLIDAY (1999): (stage play, the world being destroyed)
TALES OF PEOPLE CRACKING UP (1999): (novel/a collection of short tales)
THE FAITHFUL DRUNK (1999): (sitcom, pub)
THE WORLD AND HIS WIFE (1999): (sitcom, football)
NEW AGE TERRY (1999): (black comedy, life)
GANGSTERS (1999): (sitcom, gangsters)
THE LIABILITY (1998): (sitcom, supermarket)
MIKE STEVENS - MANAGER (1998) (sitcom, office)
